Affliction: Growing Up With a Closeted Gay Dad

(Paperback)

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In 1937, at the age of nineteen,RalphHall, suicidal, revealed his sexual orientation to his grandmother, knowing she would comfort him. He was out for three years afterwards, until an indiscretion sent him back into the closet. At twenty-four, while in the army, he met and marriedIrene. The couple made their home on the San FranciscoPeninsulaand had four children.Ralphwas an attentive husband and fatheralbeit with an intense interest in interior design, flower arranging, and fine objectsand a diligent worker who rose to payroll accountant at Standard Oil.

It wasn't until 1975 thatRalphcame out to his middle daughter, Laura, telling her that he had once considered his sexuality an aberration, an affliction. She was shocked, as the possibility her father might be gay had never crossed her mind.Irenehad knownRalphs secret for eighteen years, but the two remained married until she died. It was only then that this charismatic man and devoted father, by now in his eighties, could freely express his authentic, gay self.

Here, Laura paints a vivid and honest portrait of her beloved father and the effect his secret had on her own life.

Reviews

A deeply moving personal remembrance.
Kirkus Reviews

This moving memoir is about not just a daughter, not just a father, but a whole family, one thats impossible not to love. Hall's writing is honest and insightful and her story a comfort and a gem.
Victoria Loustalot, author of This is How You Say Goodbye and Living Like Audrey: Life Lessons from the Fairest Lady of All

This book shares a vital perspective that, until now, was missing from the LGBTQ communitys understanding of its own history. Hall finally adds the missing puzzle piece: the voice of the children of gay parents, a group that has long stood in the shadows. We are given a rare and precious gift as she warmly invites the reader into the world of her closeted family and shares a perspective that is deeply loving and raw in its honesty.
Robin Marquis, former national program director of COLAGE

Affliction is a loving and tender portrait of a relationship and a family. Its also an important addition to the history of gay parents in America and of the particular challenges faced by gay men and women in the years before Stonewall.
Alysia Abbott, author of Fairyland: A Memoir of My Father, now a Sofia Coppola-produced movie

Affliction is one of the most moving and compelling books I've ever read. It reveals the bravery and the suffering of the gay men who hid their secrets and carried on. They married, often, and had children. Laura Hall is one of those children, and she wouldn't trade her father for anybodys.
Adair Lara, author of Naked, Drunk, and Writing and columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle

Lauras book is one that will touch the heart of anyone who has dealt with coming out in a family setting.
Mark Segal, the nations most award-winning commentator in LGBTQ media and author of And Then I Danced

Halls conversational tone and attention to the small details of home life, as well as to larger issues and emotions, make this a captivating and sympathetic family story. There are undoubtedly other families with queer parents who were out to their spouses but not to the outside world, but many such stories remain hidden. Thanks to Hall for sharing hers and reminding us not only of the long history of queer parents but also of the many ways that queer parents and our children have existed and survived, by choice or circumstance.
Dana Rudolph, publisher of the GLAAD Media Awardwinning blogMombian

Author Bio

Laura Hall was born and raised in a small city on the San Francisco Peninsula. After receiving her BA (summa cum laude) and MA in landscape architecture at University of California, Berkeley, she went on to teach for the schools Extension program and build an urban design practice. Her projects have included downtown revitalization plans for Northern California communities and pedestrian-friendly zoning codes for Mississippi Gulf towns damaged by Hurricane Katrina. She currently works at the Environmental Protection Agency in San Francisco.