The Longest War: A Psychotherapists Experience of Divorce and Power

(Paperback)

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As a naive freshman, Catherine meets Walter, a senior and Big Man on Campus whose sophistication, confidence, and wealth both intimidate and excite her. A three-year absentee courtship follows, during which time the idea of Walt tethers Catherine to safety. She was programmed to marry someone like him, so she ignores the warning signs that they might not be a good match. Hoping to please her mother and seeking refuge from her fraught childhood, she marries and has children with himbut the marriage doesnt last.

Once divorced, Catherine finds herself in a war with Walt over money, and then over access to her childrenand suddenly, she can no longer ignore her childhood trauma. The high stakes of her battle with her ex-husband forge her like steel, finding every vulnerability where she needs to heal. Gradually, she develops a backbone, relinquishes her trauma-induced, people-pleasing ways, and steps into her own power.

Honest and unflinching, The Longest War reminds us that theres always a way through when we access the courage within ourselves. No matter how painful lifes difficulties, they offer us the opportunity to heal ourselves and evolve into more open, loving, compassionate people. The choice is ours.

Reviews

"The Longest War is raw, unnerving, vulnerable, and heartbreaking. It's a memoir that skillfully illustrates the impact of parental narcissism. Dr. Hartshorn has written a page turner that tells her story of childhood, divorce, parenting, and life with honesty, wisdom, and courage. Her trauma-induced pain leads her to incredible strength to overcome and heal in a way that will touch your heart and give you hope."
--Karyl McBride, PhD, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough and Will the Drama Ever End

"Catherine Hartshorn's gripping memoir tells the story of her harrowing divorce and her fierce determination to raise her children. It's a beautifully written testimony to a woman's right to claim her power."
--Ellen Sussman, New York Times best-selling author A Wedding in Provence, The Paradise Guest House, French Lessons and On a Night Like This

"In a vividly written and honest memoir, Catherine Hartshorn shows how coming to terms with her pain from childhood created the strength she needed to survive a long custody battle and maintain relationships with her sons. Such a path takes work and generosity."
--Jean Dubofsky, former Colorado Supreme Court Justice

Author Bio

Catherine Hartshorn grew up in Colorado, one generation removed from the family farm in Longmont. After graduating from Stanford University, she fell into teaching high school Spanish until she was twenty-eight, when she returned to school to become a psychotherapist. In the years that followed, she did career counseling and taught courses at UC Berkeley, supervised the clinical work of PhD candidates at the Wright Institute, and was an assistant professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington. She subsequently worked in executive search for nine years and then spent ten years as an organizational consultant. Since finishing her PhD, she has had a private psychotherapy practice. Catherine has adult children and grandchildren, and lives in the Bay Area with her husband.