Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

(Hardback)

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Description

Kelly Oxford is ...A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds Not the queen of the world An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush A born salesman Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20 That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time Totally an expert on strep throat Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend A writer A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes "Not fat enough to be super snuggly." -Bea, age four Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket "Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." -Roger Ebert Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon A terrible liar

Reviews

"Kelly Oxford has this unbelievable ability to tell stories in that way that makes you laugh without ever shoving jokes in your face. This book is basically an announcement that she's one of the best humor writers working today." -- Justin Halpern, author of Sh*t My Dad Says "Kelly Oxford is like your cool babysitter who teaches you about sex and sarcasm in an un-creepy way. Hanging out with her book makes you wish your parents were always out to dinner." -- Lena Dunham "Kelly Oxford is a refreshing rarity in a sea of Hollywood suck-ups. She's hilarious, hot, and the most truthful liar I've ever encountered." -- Diablo Cody "Kelly Oxford is the friend we all deserve-the one who tells us the best secrets, takes us on all the finest adventures, and remembers every hilariously embarrassing detail. Everything Is Perfect is sharply funny, and truly great." -- Cameron Crowe "Everything Is Perfect When You're A Liar is personal without being exploitative, smart but utterly unpretentious, and a complete delight to read. I'm not lying when I say this book is damn near perfect." -- The Frisky, named "The Funniest Memoir You'll Ever Read" "Oxford's writing is marked by the same wry voice that's made her a social media sensation." -- Los Angeles Times "[Oxford's] new book is full of humorous stories about growing up, making mistakes, stalking Leonardo DiCaprio, and braving Disneyland... It's funny but also surprisingly touching... a coming-of-age story... just a hell of a lot funnier." -- Forbes "Kelly Oxford is the new cool kid in Hollywood... [In] Everything is Perfect When You're A Liar Oxford displays the comic relief that's been drawing celebrities like Jimmy Kimmel and Jessica Alba to her Twitter feed since 2009." -- New York Daily News "[Oxford] is one freakin' funny lady... Hilarious." -- Daily Candy "Kelly Oxford in 140 characters seems like small doses of a great drug. We want more! Thanks to her new book, we've got it." -- Lifestyle Mirror "A hilariously mortifying memoir... Oxford plumbs her past for painful moments and turns them into slyly funny stories... These vignettes are vulnerable and powerful-they make us feel less freakish by comparison. Effortlessly cool, offbeat, devilish, dramatic Oxford makes sense and smart humor from her adventures." -- Interview "[Oxford's] first book of humorous essays and we can officially confirm: They are indeed humorous." -- E! Online "The anecdotes included in the book will make you love [Oxford] even more than you probably already do, if that's even possible. Kelly is truly hilarious... I couldn't put this book down - you won't be able to, either." -- HelloGiggles.com

Author Bio

Kelly Oxford, dubbed "the Queen of Twitter" by Details, started writing at five years old when she penciled "I had a baby" into her Hello Kitty diary, and she hasn't stopped since. She now writes words that companies like Warner Bros., CBS, and NBC have bought for film and television and magazines like GQ have published. You can read more of her words online in places like Twitter (@kellyoxford) and Tumblr (kellyoxford.tumblr.com). Born in Edmonton, Canada, she currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband and three children, who all wish they weren't in this book.