Apis Berlin Diaries: My Quest to Understand My Grandfathers Nazi Past

(Paperback)

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After her mother's death, Gabrielle Robinson found two diaries her grandfather had kept while serving as doctor during the fall of Berlin 1945. He recorded his daily struggle to survive in the ruined city-"I creep out at 10 o'clock at night to the clinic under whistling grenades and bombs, a wilderness of fire and dust, behind it, although already high in sky, the blood red moon"-and attempts to do what little he could for the wounded and dying without water, light, bedding, and medications. But then the diaries revealed something that had never been mentioned in her family, and it hit Robinson like a punch to the stomach: Api, her beloved grandfather, had been a Nazi. In this clear-eyed memoir, Robinson juxtaposes her grandfather's harrowing account of his experiences during the war with her memories of his loving protection years afterward, and raises disturbing questions about the political responsibility we all carry as individuals. Moving and provocative, Api's Berlin Diaries offers a firsthand and personal perspective on the far-reaching aftershocks of the Third Reich-and the author's own inconvenient past.

Reviews

2021 Nautilus Book Awards: Memoir & Personal Journey, Silver Winner

2021 Eric Hoffer Awards: Finalist
Eric Hoffer Montaigne Medal Finalist
2021 Next Generation Indie Book Awards Finalist
Nonfiction Authors Association: Bronze

As a record of post-war tribulation, Apis Berlin Diaries is a poignant social history; as a search for an elusive, multifaceted grandfather, its a fascinating labyrinth.
Foreword Reviews, 5/5 stars

Apis Berlin Diaries is Gabrielle Robinsons love letter to her German grandfather, based on the diary he kept at the end of World War II while he was separated from his family. It is also a reckoning with her grandfathers complicated history as a member of the Nazi party, and offers compelling insights into Nazi Germany and the end of the Third Reich. Robinsons honesty, courage, and intelligence are crucial in coming to grips with questions of individual responsibility and collective guilt.
Helen Fremont, author of The Escape Artist and After Long Silence

A fascinating and admirably honest account of a womans journey to reconcile her love for her grandfather with his membership of the Nazi party . . . This is a must-read for anyone interested in the German experience during WWII.
Ariana Neumann, author of When Time Stopped

Robinson has written a riveting account of the journey of discovery she made in order to come to terms with a much-loved grandfather, whom she discovered long after his death to have been a card-carrying member of the Nazi Party.
Giles MacDonogh, British historian and author of After the Reich

Robinsons account of the war years, and living in bombed out ruins, are riveting . . . The book adds to our slowly accumulating knowledge of that the war looked like from the other side and takes its place beside books like Sebaldss On the Natural History of Destruction and Beevors The Fall of Berlin 1945.
Notre Dame Review

Robinson's story brings up questions in my own life. What would I do if I were confronted with a situation that is obviously wrong and possibly evil How would I feel about a member of my own family who played such a questionable role during such a dark period of history I dont have an answer to these questions. I have compassion for Gabrielle Robinsons struggle to understand her grandfathers life. This is not a book I will forget any time soon. The story and the questions stay with me.
Story Circle Book Reviews

What makes the memoir a good read is the honesty of the author when it comes to sharing the story of her grandfather and her physical shock at finding out he was a member of the Nazi party. This memoir is a good way of giving readers information about the German peoples experiences during World War II, and the authors attempt to understand her grandfather and his life during Nazi Germany.
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Author Bio

Gabrielle was born in Berlin in 1942, her father was shot down and killed in 1943, and after losing their apartment in the bombings, in February 1945 her mother and herself fled the city. This was the beginning of many migrations. It is no wonder that Gabrielle is fascinated with the impact of history on our lives. An English professor with a PhD from the University of London, author of eight books and over forty articles, her work focuses on how the upheavals of history shape our lives. Gabrielle has won a number of awards for her writing and community engagement. Discover more at gabriellerobinson.com.