Everything I Never Wanted: A Memoir of Excess

(Paperback)

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Life in a middle-class Italian American-Catholic neighborhood in the 1950s Bronx was not supposed to include divorce, Judaism, classical music, political discourse, or poverty in the social construct. So, in the absence of friends, young Barbara takes comfort in the minutiae, the small details available to her in her everyday life that seem to be overlooked by others. But that appreciation for the inanimate world leads her on a path to the acquisition of objects and a quest for identity that dominates her choicesfrom her marriage and family life to her constant striving for more and more.
Barbaras chosen nursing career offers validation and some affirmation, but falls short of providing her whats most elusiveselfesteemuntil finally, at age fifty, she abruptly abandons her conventional role of mother, wife, nurse, and neighbor to attempt a three-hundred-mile bike ride from Boston to New York. Poorly prepared, she takes only what she needs to flee her life, and a fierce determination that finally allows her to discover her place in the worldand to find true belonging.

Reviews

A witty and thoughtful account thats a portrait of a mother-daughter bond as much as it is a search for love. The drama alone (a broken engagement, angry creditors, infidelity) keep the reader engaged . . . Kirkus Reviews One womans challenging tale to fi nd herself is full of emotion and stark, uncomfortable truths . . . revealing a vulnerability that is as painful as it is endearing. The conversational, relatable writing style is enough to captivate readers and keep the pages turning. BookLife Santarellis memoir is like a friend telling you a good story. Her conversational voice draws you in and keeps you there. The plucky kid from the 1950s working-class Bronx stays nestled in the heart of the protagonist as she makes her way into adulthoodalways keenly observing, yearning to belong, resilient and at last finds her true place in the world. Full of humor and heart. Sarah Saffian, LMSW, MFA, author of Ithaka, A Daughters Memoir of Being Found Barbara Santarellis character development is excellent. Youll find yourself identifying with her search for self-esteem and freedom from her past. Linda Joy Myers, President of the National Association of Memoir Writers and author of Song of the Plains and Dont Call Me Mother Nurses will be captivated by Santarellis fascinating memoir of courageous self-exploration and fulfillment in life as a nurse. Joan Edelstein, R. N, M.S.N, Dr.PH, President,National Association of School Nurses

Author Bio

Barbara Santarelli, RN, BS, HCA, has been an employed nurse for more than four decades and an elementary school nurse for the past twenty-five years. Shes authored articles about sex education for teens, and credits her long and varied nursing career to her cryptic sense of humor and persistent optimism. Twice married (currently to husband Nick), Santarelli is a mother, grandmother, avid reader, and cyclist who considers Stella, her nine-pound Dachsund, and Celeste, her road bike, to be members of her extended family.