Home Is Where We Start: Growing Up in the Fallout of the Utopian Dream

(Hardback)

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A memoir of a childhood spent in an utopian commune, and an adult's examination of the sacrifices made in pursuit of freedom In the turbulent late seventies, six-year-old Susanna Crossman moved with her mother and siblings from a suburban terrace to a crumbling mansion deep in the English countryside. They would share their new home with over fifty other residents from all over the world, armed with worn paperbacks on ecology, Marx and radical feminism, drawn together by utopian dreams of remaking the world. They did not leave for fifteen years. While the Adults adopted new names and liberated themselves from domestic roles, the Kids ran free. In the community, nobody was too young to discuss nuclear war and children learned not to expect wiped noses or regular bedtimes. Instead, they made a home in a house with no locks or keys, never knowing when they opened doors whether they'd find violent political debates or couples writhing under sheets. Decades later, and armed with hindsight, Crossman revisits her past, turning to leading thinkers in philosophy, sociology and anthropology to examine the society she grew up in, and the many meanings of family and home. In this luminous memoir, she asks what happens to children who are raised as the product of social experiments and explores how growing up estranged from the outside world shapes her as a parent today.

Reviews

Beautiful, Bold, Tender. I loved this gorgeous memoir about making home * Pragya Agarwal, author of Hysterical *
A bold and intimate grappling with the hidden history at the heart of a childhood that was set up as a collectivist social experiment. A true piece of work and one that is historically significant * Ewan Morrison, author of How To Survive Everything *
A wondrous book. Brave and beautifully written. An extraordinary anxiety-inducing dive into life in a late-70s/80s utopia, told through a child's eyes. Will live with me a long time. * Allan Jenkins, author of Plot 29 *
Home is Where We Start joins an important conversation about the damage done to children by 1970s parents who gave up conventional family life for utopian ideals, but ended up chasing an ephemeral dream. Moving between the personal and theory, it is an important analysis of what home means to us all. Writing through image and objects, through metaphor and symbolism, Susanna takes us right into the heart of her unconventional childhood, full of joy and neglect, of wonder and pain. She writes with such curiosity and heart-breaking honesty of what it is to find her own truth. I was enthralled by this book, and how Susanna in the end uses her own experiences of neglect as a superpower, to create a loving home and to help those in need of care. * Lily Dunn, author of Sins of My Father *
Crossman is strikingly good on how children pay the price for adult utopian fantasies, as props and as scapegoats * Dr Noreen Masud, author of A Flat Place *
A brilliant memoir - a touching, propulsive and shocking portrayal of a childhood in a utopian community, framed by a fascinating exploration of what it means to create a space called home * Sam Mills, author of THE FRAGMENTS OF MY FATHER *
Authentic, irreverent and generous. Crossman breathes fresh life into a childhood spent living in an experimental community in the English countryside. In vivid, staccato prose, she plunges from screamingly funny episodes into fear and despair, conjuring dizzying freedoms, strange new rules, the constant lack of privacy and the bright hopes that magnetise everyone around her. Its a miracle she emerged intact to gift us this story, shot through with understanding and forgiveness * Marina Benjamin, author of A Little Give *
A gripping account of a childhood lived among idealist zealots: detailed, lyrical and full of insight, told with the dispassionate eye of the anthropologist, but also the emotional engagement of the adult looking back at the child * Rebecca Stott, author of In the Days of Rain *

Author Bio

Susanna Crossman grew up in an international utopian community in England during the 1970s and 80s. Now based in France, she works internationally as a writer, clinical arts therapist, and lecturer. Her recent writing has featured in Aeon, the Paris Review and Berfois. She is a published novelist in French, and regularly collaborates with artists. She lives with her partner and three daughters.