How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir

(Paperback)

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This is a masterfully crafted memoir, an elegant tour de force that firmly establishes Mulgrew as a writer of significant literary endowment. The soulmate to Frank McCourtsAngelas Ashes,How to Forget, despite the promise of its title, cannot be forgotten or ignored. Augusten Burroughs, author ofRunning with ScissorsandToil & Trouble

In this profoundly honest and examined memoir about returning to Iowa to care for her ailing parents, the star of Orange Is the New Black and bestselling author of Born with Teeth takes us on an unexpected journey of loss, betrayal, and the transcendent nature of a daughters love for her parents.

They say you cant go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimers, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.

The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuqueby turns turbulent, tragic, and joyfullead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.

Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the authors irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.

Reviews

A darkly unsettling and unvarnished post-mortem of one fractured, complicated American family that will feel deeply, even painfully, familiar to some and shockingly, fascinatingly alien to others, but its emotional power is universally compelling. This is a masterfully crafted memoir, an elegant tour de force that firmly establishes Mulgrew as a writer of significant literary endowment. The soulmate to Frank McCourts Angelas Ashes, How to Forget, despite the promise of its title, cannot be forgotten or ignored. Augusten Burroughs, author of Running with Scissors and Toil & Trouble This is a passionate book by a passionate writer.Overflowing with the true terrors of family life, with the fight for love and connection and understanding, with an amazing American story of hope and disappointment, sorrow and roots, this memoir will electrify readers and become a part of what we know about who we are. Anne Roiphe, journalist, novelist, and author of the memoir 1185 Park Avenue Kate Mulgrew is a brilliant actor, which does not conceal her brilliance with the pen. This memoir, How to Forget, plunges you into familiar, familial depths of death, disease, and despair, only to pull you up again with a bawdy laugh. Death, disease, and despair are not walls for Mulgrew, but they are steps towards the sunlight of serenity. Read and cry, read and laugh, read and remember How to Forget. Malachy McCourt, author of Death Need Not Be Fatal Mulgrew, an actress best known for Star Trek: Voyager and Orange Is the New Black, plays her best role: as herself. This is no Hollywood tell-all, but a moving personal story about her family, in particular her aging parents, whom she cared for as they faced terminal illnesses. Washington Post Arich, eloquent, and emotionally complex portrait of parent-child bonds and a colorful, unforgettable family. . . . [A] candid and moving memoir. Kirkus Reviews Though both sections of Mulgrews memoir build to painful goodbyes, How to Forget is more than just a sad play-by-play of illness and decline. Its a beautiful portrait of a daughters love for her parents, packed with sharp, amusing recollections, all told with love. New York Times Candid and intimate. . . .A detailed and searing portrait of a family facing the inevitability of death. Publishers Weekly [An] engrossing story of a daughters love, told with brutal honesty. Booklist Mulgrew has written a finely detailed memoir that brings [her parents], ever so briefly and only on its pages, back to life. . . . Its the achingly unique particulars of the relationships between the author, her five brothers and sisters, and their parents that make this book stand out. Providence Journal

Author Bio

In a career spanning more than four decades, Kate Mulgrew has appeared in countless television shows, plays, and movies, notably Captain Kathryn Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager, Mary Ryan on Ryan's Hope, and, most recently, Galina "Red" Reznikov on Orange Is the New Black. She has been honoured with a Golden Satellite Award, a Saturn Award, an Obie award and has been nominated for a Golden Globe and an Emmy. She has three children and lives in New York City.