Catch Me When I Fall: Poems of Mother Loss and Healing

(Paperback)

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Losing your mother is a transformational event at any age, and yet the number of books on the subject of adult children grieving a mothers death is meager. In this moving collection of poems and letters, Donna Stoneham chronicles the healing power of love between an adult daughter and her elderly motheracross the boundaries of this world and the next, and over the course of four yearsand how that connection teaches her to love more deeply, to fully forgive, and to grow into her authentic self.

An embracing solace for anyone recovering from the loss of a loved one, Catch Me When I Fall reveals how our grief journeys can be a powerful transformative force and offers readers a courageous, healing path to the other side of sorrows dark passage. Through the conversations between mother and daughter that take place in these lyrical pieces, readers are provided with the opportunity to explore a beautiful notion: as long as we keep our hearts open to the mystery and transformational power of transcendent, eternal love, it will always be possible to heal and continue our most pivotal relationshipseven after death.

Reviews

Poet and prophet, traveler in the realms between the worldsthe here and the greater thereDonna Stoneham is our guide to the landscapes and the inscapes of grief, loss,and the quickening of the human heart. Through this potent telling,she mentors and helps us renew and recover the connection with the love and spirit that never dies.
Jean Houston, PhD, co-founder of the Human Potential Movement andbest-selling author of The Possible Human, The Search for the Beloved, and A Passion for the Possible

The other day I ran into a friend who told me, in a halting voice, that shed just lost her beloved mother. The first thought I had was that I wanted to give her a copy of Donna Stonehams beautiful book. Catch Me When I Fallis a balm for the grieving heart, a reminder that love never leavesit just shifts dimensions.
Julie Barton, New York Timesbest-selling author of Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself

Whether or not you are religious, spiritual, or believe in life after death, Donna Stonehams beautiful poems about loss and her letters to her dead mother will reach into your own grieving heart and guide you towards healing. Although Catch Me When I Fall is Donnas personal story, anyone whos had and lost a mother will relate to the connection and pain and will be upliftedbecause Donna shows us that although death may end a physical life, it does not end a relationship.
Virginia A. Simpson, PhD, Bereavement Care Specialist, and award-winning author of The Space Between: A Memoir of Mother-Daughter Love at the End of Life

Navigating grief is both an individual and collective experience, fraught with the vagaries of family history and unique personal struggles. This universal theme is turned over and over again in Donna's effective and honest writing. It is an intimate recollection and fearless accounting of the uncharted paths of grief, but it is also a metamorphosis, as she, and I believe her mother, discover the tenuous connection they thought they had with each other was not tenuous at all, but one of strongly wrought love.
Cindy Eastman, author of Flip-Flops After 50: And Other Thoughts On Aging I Remembered To Write Down

One suggestion, given my own tears, before you even crack open Stonehams collection of poemsmaybe dont start reading in a public space. I say that because even though we have our whole lives to prepare for the moment we become motherless, are we ever really prepared for, as Stoneham describes, the slack tide of our ragged hearts But persevere, and you will begin to understand what we call the restorative power of grief. How it moves with you, guides you, and then loosens its grip.
Nina Gaby, editor ofDumped: Womens Stories of Women Unfriending Women

This very personal story of mother-daughter love captures the longing that never leaves us.The umbilical cord of mother-daughter love is twisted by conflicting values and individuation, but unwinds again at the end of life, when mind gives way, and reason steps aside to let love and longing be fulfilled. Written as a dialogue that extends even beyond death,Stonehams masterful weave of prose and poetry is a primer on moving through sadness toward understanding and peace.
Mary E. Plouffe, author of I Know It in My Heart: Walking through Grief with a Child

I began readingDonnaStonehamsCatch Me When I Fallshortly before the one-year anniversary of my beloved mothers death. As I walked besideDonnathrough her own grief journey, I rode the too-familiar waves of sadness and overwhelm, of love and transcendence. With her powerful poetry and prose,Donnareminded me to look to the Universe for signs from my mom, to trust in the ultimate plan, and to honor our lost loved ones by spreading joy and positivity. I will forever be grateful for the healing power of this book.
Katrina Anne Willis, author ofParting Gifts

The primal wound of losing a mother is something most of us will be asked to endure in ourlifetimes. Donna Stoneham has given us the gift of letting us move with her over the rough ground of her own profoundloss. Her poetry, poignant letters to, and communications from her mother invite us to descend into the darkness, let our hearts break wide open to love and walk thehard and holy path of grief and loss as a portal to our own becoming.
Suzanne Anderson, author of You Make Your Path by Walking: A Transformational Field GuideThrough Trauma and Loss and co-author of The Way of the Mysterial Woman: Upgrading HowYou Live, Love and Lead

Amid the severance of earthly ties, walk with Donna Stoneham as she tenderly stitches and dresses the wound. This is difficult heart work which we will all have to do; here is a gracious reminder we do not have to do it alone.
Lt. Brian Bort, chaplain in the US Navy and author ofThe StrangeFishandGigantic Brittle

Donna Stonehams poignant collection of poetry and prose,Catch Me When I Fall, reminds us allwhatever our faith, whatever notions we may have about the afterlifethat our deepest relationships dont have to end when a dear one passes from this life. Comforting, uplifting, and deeply moving, this book shows us that loves form may change with death, but the conversations with those we hold most dear can continue, if only we keep our hearts open.
Betsy Graziani Fasbinder, marriage/family therapist and author ofFilling Her Shoes

InCatch Me When I Fall, Donna Stoneham provides us with not only a roadmap to the wild country of grief, but also an intimate travelogue. In poetry and letters, she documents every step of her journey, from the depths of bereft despair to the heights of transcendent communion. This book is a testament of a mighty love too strong for death to conquer.
Rev. John R. Mabry, PhD, author ofGrowing into God: A Beginners Guide to Christian Mysticismand coauthor ofSoul Journeys: Christian Spirituality and Shamanism as Pathways for Wholeness and Understanding

This collection of poems brings to mind Kintsugi, the Japanese practice of repairing broken pottery with gold. The Japanese believe that by embracing and lovingly repairing what is broken, a deeper beauty is revealed. Stoneham has spun gold in these words to repair her fractured heart. Anyone who has had a complicated mother daughter relationship, or is searching for closure after mother loss, will find comfort and truth in her words.
Hollye Dexter, author ofFire SeasonandThe Shift

Life comes with tangles.For many, the tangle that occurs in the mother-daughter relationship is painful and ongoingbut sometimes it can loosen, allowing a new avenue for love.Donna Stoneham taps into the deep longing that comes when her mother is trapped in her own collage of expectations and fear. Donna poignantly expresses the unfolding ability to see her mother, and I love that the transformation for Donna and her mom continues beyond her moms time on earth.
Gail Warner, author ofWeaving Myself Awake: Voicing the Sacred Through Poetry

Catch Me When I Fallis a love story and a tale of metamorphosis that offers inspiration to all who suffer with wounds from our most primal relationshipwith our mother. Interspersed with Stonehams lovely poetry, this touching, beautiful memoir takes us through the storm of grief to a peaceful resolution with the awareness that a relationship can thrive beyond physical death. The relationship between Stoneham and her mother continues to transform, giving us a message of hope and healing that is eternal.
Cheryl Krauter, MFT, author of Odyssey of Ashes: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Letting Go

Author Bio

Donna Stoneham is an executive coach, transformational leadership expert, speaker, lifelong poet, former hospice chaplain, and spiritual seeker who was born and raised in the Texas panhandle. She is also the author of The Thrivers Edge: Seven Keys to Transform the Way You Live, Love, and Lead. When Donnas not writing, coaching, traveling, or volunteering, she loves to hike, ski, sail, kayak, and do anything else that involves communing with spirit and nature. She, her wife, and their rescue dogs live in Point Richmond, California.