Loving Someone with a Serious Mental Illness: Caring for Your Loved One and Yourself on the Journey to Mental Health Recovery

(Paperback)

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Powerful and practical tools to help you support your loved one with serious mental illness, while also making room for your own need.

If you have a loved one-a spouse, adult child, or other family member-who is experiencing a mental health crisis such as schizophrenia, delusion, hearing voices, mania, depression, or catatonia, you need help right now. Your loved one might be resistant to treatment. You may feel helpless watching them struggle. And you may question whether you can handle the myriad everyday practical and emotional challenges ahead. It's important to know that you are not alone.

Authors Katherine Ponte and Izzy Goncalves have been there. They are there. During Katherine's ongoing eighteen-year recovery from severe bipolar disorder and depression, her husband Izzy has been her primary caregiver. Together through trial, trauma, and triumph, they have amassed an unmatched store of lived experiences, shared perspectives, and lessons learned. They now bravely share, for the first time, everything they have come to understand about the challenges they've faced and surmounted together.

A vital resource for families in crisis, this book will help you:
Recognize the signs and symptoms of mental illness
Maintain and improve communication between you and your loved one
Better understand your loved one's feelings and emotions
Handle special situations, including de-escalating crises
Discover different options for treatment
Make room for self-care

The book never forgets one crucial truth: you have needs, too. That's why the authors provide resources to ensure that you stay healthy, well-rested, and energized, so you can help your loved one on the path to recovery.

Reviews

"This accessible, evidence-based work makes a vital contribution toward promoting the health and well-being of people on the journey to mental health recovery. The authors are expert guides who skillfully and compassionately interweave their own individual lived experiences. They share best practices, person-centered approaches, and comprehensive resources to promote understanding, support, and communication with loved ones undergoing mental health challenges."
--Emily Chaya Weinstein, PhD, OTR/L, occupational therapist at the Payne Whitney Psychiatric Clinic at New York-Presbyterian Hospital--Emily Chaya Weinstein, PhD, OTR/L
"I have spent my career studying and building knowledge about recovery from mental illness. Katherine and Izzy bring many of the principles in this field to life in their new book, Loving Someone with a Serious Mental Illness. Their practical and deeply personal guide offers a step-by-step approach to help individuals and caregivers navigate the complex journey toward recovery, making this book a vital resource for anyone facing similar challenges."
--Larry Davidson, PhD, emeritus professor of psychiatry in the School of Medicine at the Yale University Program for Recovery and Community Health--Larry Davidson, PhD
"In her latest book, patient advocate and recovery coach Katherine Ponte, along with her husband Izzy Goncalves, present a treasure trove of information for patients and their loved ones on how best to navigate the complexities and challenges they face while on the road to recovery from mental illness. Practical, readable, well researched and sourced, and infused with the wisdom of lived experience, this is a must-read for anyone living with (or caring for someone with) mental illness who strives for the best life possible."
--Joseph F. Goldberg, MD, clinical professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai--Joseph F. Goldberg, MD
"Katherine and Izzy have written a highly informative and digestible book in a relatable style from both a family member and consumer perspective. While very much grounded in science, it offers insightful and doable strategies for handling common challenges that arise in the everyday life of caring for and living with a serious mental illness. A must-read for families, consumers, and professionals alike. It has much to offer everyone."
--Phyllis Solomon, PhD, professor/associate dean for research in the School of Social Policy and Practice at the University of Pennsylvania--Phyllis Solomon, PhD
"Katherine and Izzy provide the couple lens--offering long-needed, lived-experience expertise exploring and honoring both worldviews with simple but much-needed tips for individuals or their loved ones new to understanding about living with mental illness and distress. When I think back to my not knowing much at all about how to live with a mental illness--well, I knew it as a clinician/researcher, but to understand it personally, I went searching or rather digging for simplistic, straightforward information with accessible language and examples that I could use to normalize my experiences; rather than feeling isolated and engulfed in an illness. Katherine and Izzy--you provide the language to family and friends to talk about living life and recovery, giving them a sense of hope that families can thrive through these experiences."
--Chyrell D. Bellamy, PhD, MSW, professor in the Yale University department of psychiatry, and director of the Yale Program for Recovery and Community Health--Chyrell D. Bellamy, PhD, MSW
"Katherine and Izzy's book is a practical guide all families engaging with loved ones with mental health conditions should be able to access. As a parent of a child who developed a serious mental illness that led to his death, I believe deeply in the importance of resources that can help everyone navigate this journey and help ensure different, more hopeful outcomes. Katherine and Izzy's collaboration honors both the expertise of the individuals living with serious mental illness and their family caregivers, while delivering easy-to-understand information that is underpinned by the premise of hope for recovery and thriving."
--Ken Zimmerman, CEO of Fountain House, a national mental health nonprofit that empowers people living with serious mental illness through direct services, practice innovation, and policy change--Ken Zimmerman
"Mental illness challenges not only people struggling with symptoms and disabilities, but also their families and friends. This book is an elegant mix of hope and direction so caregiver and person with lived experience can partner toward recovery. The book is filled with practical information related to navigating psychiatric treatment, dealing with triggers, and forming a wellness plan. Along with her husband Izzy, Katherine tells a story of aspiration."
--Patrick Corrigan, distinguished professor of psychology at the Illinois Institute of Technology where he directs the Center for Health Equity, Education, and Research--Patrick Corrigan
"Mental illness is common and often prolonged. While professionals provide important aspects of care and treatment, a substantial burden often remains with the affected persons. In this book, the authors share their extensive lived experience as someone with mental illness and her caregiver who addressed these many issues. The nine chapters are filled with knowledge and techniques critical to reducing illness experience and enhancing life."
--William Carpenter, MD, professor emeritus at the University of Maryland Baltimore--William Carpenter, MD
"Nothing in our culture prepares us to become caregivers for someone we love who lives with serious mental illness. This book provides a hands-on blueprint for the challenges and trauma that devastate so many families. In concrete and compassionate storytelling, it teaches collaboration with your loved one plus caregiving for the caregiver. As a family peer supporter, this is a gift that brings sensitivity and confidence to the family in crisis."
--John DeNatale, father of sons living with serious mental illness, and NAMI Family-to-Family instructor--John DeNatale

Author Bio

Katherine Ponte is a mental health advocate, writer, entrepreneur, and the founder of ForLikeMinds, an online peer support community for people living with or supporting someone with mental illness. She is a faculty member with the program for recovery and community health at Yale University School of Medicine, and sits on the board of National Alliance on Mental Illness in New York, NY. She is the author of ForLikeMinds: Mental Illness Recovery Insights. Katherine is happily living in recovery from severe bipolar I disorder with psychosis and extended periods of suicidal depression after an 18-year struggle

Izzy Goncalves works in finance and has been the primary caregiver for his spouse, Katherine. He has been instrumental in helping her develop several mental illness recovery initiatives