Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School

(Paperback)

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The fourteen essential conversations to have with your tween and early teenager to prepare them for the emotional, physical, and social challenges ahead, including scripts and advice to keep the communication going and stay connected during this critical developmental window.

This book is a gift to parents and teenagers alike.Lisa Damour, PhD, author ofUntangledandUnder Pressure

Trying to convince a middle schooler to listen to you can be exasperating. Indeed, it can feel like the best option is not to talk! But keeping kids safeand prepared for all the times when you can't be the angel on their shoulderis about having the right conversations at the right time. From a brain growth and emotional readiness perspective, there is no better time for this than their tween years, right up to when they enter high school.

Distilling Michelle Icard's decades of experience working with families, Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen focuses on big, thorny topics such as friendship, sexuality, impulsivity, and technology, as well as unexpected conversations about creativity, hygiene, money, privilege, and contributing to the family. Icard outlines a simple, memorable, and family-tested formula for the best approach to these essential talks, the BRIEF Model: Begin peacefully, Relate to your child, Interview to collect information, Echo what you're hearing, and give Feedback. With wit and compassion, she also helps you get over the most common hurdles in talking to tweens, including:

What phrases invite connection and which irritate kids or scare them off
The best places, times, and situations in which to initiate talks
How to keep kids interested, open, and engaged in conversation
How to exit these chats in a way that keeps kids wanting more

Like a Rosetta Stone for your tween's confounding language, Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen is an essential communication guide to helping your child through the emotional, physical, and social challenges ahead and, ultimately, toward teenage success.

Reviews

Insightful and instructive, but never rigid or scolding. [Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteenis] that smart friend you turn to with questions because they always have great answers and never make you feel dumb for asking. . . . A fabulous resource to keep nearby as [your childs] needs, struggles, and strengths change.Chicago Tribune

Theres no such thing as The Talk anymore. To raise the healthiest, most resilient kids, parents need to have hundreds of talks over many years. With Michelle Icards big-picture framing of what to cover and deep dive into how you can say it all, the task will be much less daunting. It might even be fun.Cara Natterson, MD, author ofDecoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons

Fourteen (Talks) by (Age) Fourteenoffers incredible insight and empathy to both young adolescents and their stressed-out parents. Icard makes clear that the stakes are highwe must not shy away from these crucial conversations with our children.This book is the guide weve been waiting for.Devorah Heitner,PhD,author ofScreenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World

Michelle Icard has a true gift for talking to kids and knows all the tricks for avoiding power struggles and shutdowns. If you are struggling to have good conversations with your child, her straightforward, matter-of-fact, and completely authentic approach will help you connect.Michael Thompson, PhD, coauthor ofRaising Cain

Icard lays out exactly how to start the critical conversations we want to have with our teenagers, keep these key discussions going, and steer clear of common missteps that often close down lines of communication.This book is a gift to parents and teenagers alike.Lisa Damour, PhD,New York Timesbestselling author ofUntangledandUnder Pressure

Revel in thegreat common sense, depth of thought, and even humor herein. Michelle Icard is a wise advisor and her book isa treasure for parents everywhere.Rosalind Wiseman,New York Timesbestselling author ofQueen Bees and Wannabees: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World

Michelle Icards approach to having difficult but important conversations with kidsthe BRIEF modelis both ingenious and effective. These are the talks we need to be having with our children, and this is how to have them!Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and author ofThe Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World

Through relatable examples and memorable techniques, she provides a reliable path for you through parental fear and anxiety. With Michelle Icard, you and your child are in the most capable of hands.Dr. John Duffy, PsyD, author ofParenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety

An incredibly user-friendly and straightforward guide. A must-read for caregivers of adolescents, providing readers with the necessary tools to talk to their tweens and sustain happy and healthy relationships.Booklist

Author Bio

Michelle Icard has written forthe Today show parenting team, NBC News Learn, CNN Science and Wellness, and the Washington Post. The author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen, Eight Setbacks that Can Make a Child a Success, and Middle School Makeover, she has been featured in the Chicago Tribune, Christian Science Monitor, Redbook, Time, and People. Her leadership curriculum for middle schoolers, Athenas Path and Heros Pursuit, have been implemented at schools and summer camps across the United States. Michelle has two young adult children who mostly live elsewhere these days. She and her husband in Charlotte, North Carolina.