Remembering the Music, Forgetting the Words: Travels with Mom in the Land of Dementia

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A chronicle of the profound, life-changing, and laugh-out-loud funny moments in the journey of an Alzheimer's caregiver Kate Whouley is a smart, single woman who faces life head-on. Her mother, Anne, is a strong-minded accidental feminist with a weakness for unreliable men. Their complicated relationship isn't simplified when Anne exhibits symptoms of organic memory loss. As Kate becomes her mother's advocate and protector, she will discover that the demon we call Alzheimer's is also an unlikely teacher-and healer. For anyone who has faced and fought the decline of a parent or loved one, this book will touch your heart, make you smile, and, quite possibly, change the way you think about love, life, and loss.

Reviews

A lovely, honest account of her mothers decline into Alzheimers disease.The Boston Globe

In her often humorous and always compassionate memoir,Whouley hopes to transform how people relate to a loved one with Alzheimer's disease."USA Today

Whouleys poignant, perceptive story of remembrance may not make the word 'Alzheimers' any easier to hear, but her book offers a perspective that may relieve, comfort and perhaps ease the minds of those who are facing some of the same dilemmas with elder family members dilemmas about care, yes, but also about just how to take in the idea of communicating with someone who will likely not remember that communication scant moments later.The Barnstable Patriot

Whouley gracefully keeps a balance between poignancy and humor. Her intelligent, sensitive voice is a treatShelf Awareness

Reading Kate Whouleys memoir felt like sitting down with an old friend over coffee...As a reader, I felt privileged to be on the receiving end of such a confidence, which concerns the most important issues: family, mortality, our aloneness in the world, our connection in the face of it. I read it in two sittings and turned the last page with regret.David Payne, author ofBack to Wando Passo

"An exceptional memoir that reminds usoften with surprising humorof the richness of life in good times and bad."David Dosa MD, author ofMaking Rounds With Oscar

Remembering the Music, Forgetting the Wordsmade me want to go hug my mother. It also made me want to go hug Kate Whouley for her generous, fearless and spot-on recounting of a mother-daughter relationship during its most tragic yet poignantly beautiful years.Suzanne Strempek Shea, author ofSundays inAmerica

With books as her background and music as her guide, Kate Whouley helps her mother navigate the journey of Alzheimers. Recalling her mothers impressive past, Whouley tries to reconcile her new mother with the old. Whouleys straightforward, and at times, very funny take at her mothers struggles and her own will strike home to many readers familiar with the caregiver role. Incorporating her life-long passion as a flutist, Whouleys tone and reflection of music in every aspect of the journey fills the book with hope and, yes, joy. I hope I would be as graceful and kind if I ever become my mothers support system. Full of mother-daughter issues, identity, grief, loss, along with lots of love, and enduring friendships, Remembering The Music, Forgetting the Words is perfect fodder for reading groups!Barbara Drummond Mead, Editor of Reading Group Choices

Remembering the Musicis a dance of a daughters spirit as she releases her mother (and the reader) to another realm.Joan Anderson, Author ofA Year By The Sea

In Remembering the Music, Forgetting the Words, Kate Whouley explores the mysteries of the human heart with wisdom and wit, giving us a story rich with kindness and comfort.Amanda Eyre Ward, author of Close Your Eyes

Author Bio

Kate Whouley lives on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, where she is the founder and owner of Books in Common, an independent book-industry consulting company. Her first book, Cottage for Sale, Must Be Moved, was a Book Sense Book-of-the-Year nominee. Whouley's personal essays have appeared in the Cape Cod Times, Boston Globe, and the book-industry online journal Shelf Awareness.