Healthy Conflict, Happy Couple: How to Let Go of Blame and Grow Stronger Together

(Paperback)

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Stop fighting with each other and start fighting for your relationship. This unique guide uncovers the science of conflict to help you let go of blame, and reignite intimacy and joy.

Are you constantly arguing with your partner about every little thing Do you feel like you are on completely different pages when it comes to finances, future plans, or parenting Most couples fight from time to time, but if fighting is starting to wear at your relationship, you may need a new method for conflict resolution. This empowering guide can help you find the peace, happiness, and intimacy you seek--all while growing stronger together as a couple.

In Healthy Conflict, Happy Couple, relationship expert Lisa Gray breaks down the neuroscience of conflict, examines family of origin learnings--beliefs, attitudes, or habits we learn in childhood from our own parents--and provides practical methods which can be employed in any situation to help you put an end to unproductive arguments. You'll also find evidence-based communication, mindfulness, and cognition skills to help you stay calm, work through disagreements, and come to a peaceful resolution--even when your emotions are running high.

With this step-by-step guide, you'll learn:

• The science of why you fight
• Mindfulness skills to manage conflict in the moment
• How to build awareness of your own fight or flight responses
• Breathing techniques to soothe anger
• Creative problem-solving skills to encourage cooperation and harmony!

Reviews

"Healthy Conflict, Happy Couple is packed with real tools on how to thrive as a couple. Gray covers so much psychological understanding in an easily digestible manner. This book is a must-have for anyone who wants a more profound comprehension of their couple's dynamic, and actionable steps to make the relationship shimmer to new happiness levels."
--Tasha Jackson (Fitzgerald), MA, psychotherapist, widely published in magazines and on podcasts, and has gained national attention for her advocacy work and two TEDx talks--Tasha Jackson (Fitzgerald), MA
"Lisa Gray has synthesized a practical framework and assemblage of tools for couples to embrace conflict as an essential skill in building lasting intimacy. Her approach is accessible, intelligent, and deliberate--and this book will prove to be a useful guide for couples willing to collaborate toward mutual understanding, validation, and ultimately, love."
--Scott Spradlin, professional counselor and lead therapist for the Wichita DBT Program at NorthStar Therapy in Wichita, KS; and author of Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life--Scott Spradlin
"Managing conflict is a skill, Lisa Gray teaches in Healthy Conflict, Healthy Couple; a skill we can learn to master. Gray's voice is warm and engaging as she guides the reader with examples and exercises. This is a book every client and therapist should have on their shelf."
--Catherine Auman, LMFT, psychotherapist, and award-winning author of Shortcuts to Mindfulness--Catherine Auman, LMFT
"No relationship grows without differences, disagreements, and fights; despite our best intentions. Lisa Gray shows us a compassionate and caring way to understand the conflicts with our loved ones, and disagreeing with our partners without losing ourselves or damaging our relationship. This is the book that anyone that wants to nourish a relationship and become the partner they wish to be needs to read."
--Patricia E. Zurita Ona, PsyD, author of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors and Living Beyond OCD--Patricia E. Zurita Ona, PsyD
"The need to recognize and resolve conflict in a healthy, mutually affirming way is at the heart of Lisa Gray's book. Couples that fight together caringly can thrive. Many retreat from conflict or one person raises their voice, and unwittingly or otherwise, intimidates their partner and wonders about the stony silence or glossing of issues. This five-star book can bring the magic back into your relationship."
--WJ Alladin, PsyD, clinical director of the Centre for Couples, Narrative Coaching and Posttraumatic Stress in the UK; and founding editor in chief of Counselling Psychology Quarterly--WJ Alladin, PsyD
"There are two things inevitable in life: Seasons of the year and arguments/fights with your spouse. Now you can do something constructive about inevitable disagreements. Causes and cures are at your fingertips. Follow the maps and find the treasure of conflict resolution. And just maybe, you can avoid the winter of discontent."
--Peter Pearson, PhD, cofounder of The Couples Institute, and trainer of couples therapists in sixty-six countries--Peter Pearson, PhD

Author Bio

Lisa Gray, LMFT, is a licensed mental health professional specializing in high-conflict couples for more than twenty years. She has a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she lives with her husband and two boys.