Is This Love or Dopamine: A deeply unofficial study of dating in the digital age

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Falling in love is a beautiful thing. The internet, naturally, has taken this beauty and turned it into something deeply, deeply strange. Featuring screenshots from real-life dating conversations, Is This Love or Dopamine is a hilarious, piercing analysis of the weird-and-not-so-wonderful world of internet dating.
@beam_me_up_softboi creator and journalist Iona David explores all the highs, horrors and heartbreaks: from the all-important first DM slide to the inevitable eventual ghosting; from f*ckboys and Tinder anthems to loaded emojis and revenge selfies. Learn what to do if someone uses teehee in a sext (run for the hills) or has a photo of themselves holding a massive fish on their profile (run faster).

A dedication to all the hours spent lying in bed/sitting on the toilet swiping until thumb cramp sets in, this book will make you laugh, then cry, then delete your dating app profile, then (obviously) re-download it again. Long live the internet!

Reviews

Iconic Matty Healy

One day researchers will use this book as a holy text to explain why the birth rate dropped from about 2019 onwards Joel Golby

Any millennial or zoomer could tell you that modern dating is an absolute nightmare. From the first hello on a dating app to the bizarre post-coital interactions, most of us have dealt with the ego of softbois and f*ckbois alike. But now, we finally have someone who can really rationalise today's digital dating landscape with a wealth of data. Iona's done us all a favour by chronicling online interactions that prove our sneaking suspicion that romance might actually be dead. Her deconstruction of the softboi, internet lingo and ultimately our feelings around dating gives us the reassurance that we are not alone. Swipes4Daddy (Erika Gajda)

After spending years running a meme account dedicated to airing examples of men doing profoundly bad flirting, most people would give up and embrace a life of quiet celibacy. Not Iona David. In Is This Love or Dopamine, David wades even deeper into the weeds of digital dating, studying the 'softbois' and 'f*ckboys' of the field while saying something wider about how we look for love in the modern world. Smart, sympathetic and wickedly funny, its an essential emotional support manual for those unfortunate enough to be horny and online. Emma Garland

Author Bio

As the creator of @beam_me_up_softboi, Iona David has been a cultural commentator on internet dating since 2018. A freelance writer for publications such as VICE, Iona also collaborates on digital campaigns with brands including Pure, Polydor and Atlantic Records. She lives in Manchester with her cat, Joey. www.ionadavid.com