Love in Exile

(Hardback)

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Description

'We ache for love, but love eludes us. Out of this crisis comes so much of what it means to be human' Shon Faye grew up quietly obsessed with the feeling that love was not for her. Not just romantic love- the secret fear of her own unworthiness penetrated every aspect and corner of her life. It was a fear that would erupt in destructive, counterfeit versions of the real love she craved- addictions and short-lived romances that were either euphoric and fantastical, or excruciatingly painful and unhinged, often both. Faye's experience of the world as a trans woman, who grew up visibly queer, exacerbated her fears. But, as she confronted her damaging ideas about love and lovelessness, she came to realize that this sense of exclusion is symptomatic of a much larger problem in our culture. Love, she argues, is as much a collective question as a personal one. Yet our collective ideals of love have developed in a society which is itself profoundly sick and loveless; in which consumer capitalism sells us ever new, engrossing fantasies of becoming more loved or lovable. In this highly politicized terrain, boundaries are purposefully drawn to keep some in and to keep others out. Those who exist outside them are ignored, denigrated, exiled. In Love in Exile, Shon Faye shows love is much greater than the narrow ideals we have been taught to crave so desperately that we are willing to bend and break ourselves to fit them. Wise, funny, unsparing, and suffused with a radical clarity, this is a book of and for our times- for seeing and knowing love, in whatever form it takes, is the meaning of life itself.

Reviews

Uncommonly wise and honest. Love in Exile flooded me with a sense of continuity and hope. A masterpiece, from start to finish * Maggie Nelson *
Shon Faye can break your heart and change your mind in the same moment. Love In Exile is a parade of these instances, a book that for lovers in this era will be both a comfort and a sword * Torrey Peters *
I loved this smart, searching, and moving book. Love in Exile is an exacting and thoughtful exploration of what it is to relate to men, masculinity, power, and gender norms, as a woman, and as a trans woman, Shon Faye's clear-sightedness and compassion, both in respect to others and to herself, is what makes her writing so powerful. Both disarming and self-possessed, this book is suffused with curiosity and it's one that I found as thought-provoking as I found it helpful * Katherine Angel *

Author Bio

Shon Faye is author of the acclaimed bestseller The Transgender Issue. Her work has been published in, among others, the Guardian, Independent, British Vogue and VICE. She writes an advice column, Dear Shon, for Vogue.com. Born in Bristol, she now lives in London.