Feel It All: A Therapist's Guide to Reimagining Your Relationship with Sex

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From certified sex therapist and founder of @queersextherapy Casey Tanner comes an expansive, paradigm-shifting guide to human sexuality that dismantles limiting cultural attitudes and offers a holistic, inclusive, and healing new framework.

As an AASECT certified sex therapist and founder of @queersextherapy, Casey Tanner has received hundreds of intimacy-related questions, both from couples in their practice and from followers who are desperate for advice. At the root of all of these insecurities is a single truth: we've received a sex miseducation.

Our sex lives-Tanner argues-are a microcosm for everything we have been taught to believe and internalized about gender, sex, and relationships. The issue is, most of us were raised under false narratives about sex and relationships that led us to believe certain truths: sex is between a man and a woman; gender and sexuality are fixed; monogamy is the only framework for healthy relationships; the only kind of healthy body is a thin body; virginity and losing it are a huge deal; and so many more. In recognizing and treating our sexual miseducation seriously, we can acknowledge how limiting internalized beliefs have kept us from feeling fulfilled and secure in our gender, sexuality, and relationships.

In Sex Therapy, Tanner will provide a comprehensive guide to uncovering your own expansive approach to sexuality and relationships. Moving through the main phases of therapy, Tanner helps readers to assess and unpack the core beliefs surrounding relationships, sexuality, gender, and more; identify past trauma and pathways to healing; and redefine sex by building a definition based on knowledge and possibilities, rather than by its potential consequences. The book will also help readers to explore new frameworks for their sex lives and intimate relationships, from monogamy to polyamory to ethical non-monogamy.

Incredibly comprehensive yet deeply accessible, Sex Therapy is the antidote to our current culture of miseducation, providing a pathway forward for personal healing, stronger relationships, and deeper intimacy.

Reviews

Casey Tanner shows us how all of us-ALL OF US!-can build a loving, secure relationship with our own sexuality. I want to live in the world they show us in these pages, a world full of healed and healing people, who claim pleasure and peace as their birthright. -- Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Come As You Are and Come Together, co-author of Burnout
Very few of us have been given the sex education or tools we need to have a secure relationship with sexuality, and Casey Tanner fills in these gaps. Feel It All empowers you to make authentic decisions about your own body, sexuality, and identity, not only giving you the tools to redefine your relationship with sex, but also shifting the cultural narrative around what it means to be sexually secure. -- Laurie Mintz, author of A Tired Womans Guide to Passionate Sex and Becoming Cliterate
This book is not just the work of a sex therapist, but of someone who has spent decades in therapy wrestling with and liberating their sexuality. The work that Casey invites us to do is not easy. And while it would be easier to turn away, Casey's gentle guidance throughout these pages is a constant invitation to compassionately connect with yourself, to feel all of you, and to ultimately feel freer. -- Dalychia, co-founder of Afrosexology
With a masterful blend of research, personal anecdotes, and practical advice, Feel It All addresses the profound effects that cultural messaging and attachment wounds have on sexuality. Casey Tanner's work guides readers through the murky territories of intimacy and desire in a helpful and compelling way. -- Lori A. Brotto, PhD, Professor, University of British Columbia, and Canada Research Chair in Womens Sexual Health
A deeply vulnerable, nuanced, and heartfelt book, perfect for anyone who feels 'broken' when it comes to sex. Spoiler alert: Casey will show you that you're not. And along the way, you'll develop deeper compassion for yourself, a richer experience of your sexuality, and excitement and curiosity about feeling even more. -- Vanessa Marin, New York Times bestselling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life
Feel It All! is the answer you've been searching for! What do we do if we've never been shown that feeling is okay, let alone glorious How can we open up if we're confused or frightened by our feelings Happily, the kind, wise, and brilliant Casey Tanner guides us step-by-step through our barriers to letting go. A must-read! -- Jeffrey Marsh, bestselling author of Take Your Own Advice

Author Bio

Casey is a digital industry leader in the field of gender and sexual diversity, and has been featured in publications including Oprah Magazine, Self, InStyle, Elle, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, Vice, and more.

Casey works with leaders across industries to expand insight and influence around gender and sexuality, to help businesses better prepare to serve a more expansive generation of consumers.

Casey provides free sex and gender education through social media (@queersextherapy), with a following of nearly 400k.