The Bonus Family Handbook: The Definitive Guide to Co-Parenting and Creating Stronger Families

(Hardback)

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"This diplomatic guide offers advice on how parents can navigate caring for a blended family.... Blackstone packs this encyclopedic manual full of insight. -Publishers Weekly
"This definitive practical guide addresses nearly every situation that bonus families might experience. - Library Journal
An essential resource for todays integrated families

Imagine youre in a heated argument. Your kids have decided that they dont want to go back to your exs home, and your ex isnt having it. Meanwhile, your new partner is squirming uncomfortably in the other room. What do you do How do you stop the madness and come together to find the best solution for everyone
The Bonus Family Handbook introduces readers to a completely new approach to co-parenting and blending families. Until now, parents have been told that once theres been a break-up, they become autonomous, single parents, and can make decisions for their children on their own. But thats not true. Thats not real life. That old school break-up attitude offers no direction for co-parenting. The Bonus Family Handbook changes all that. It helps even the most contentious parents learn how to work together in the name of their children, teaching them how to apply practical co-parenting techniques so that they will be able to form a supportive, loving family.
The Bonus Family Handbook also recognizes the importance of incorporating new partners into the mixof bringing in Bonus Moms and Bonus Dadsand empowering them to make decisions for the safety and well-being of the children. With its emphasis on positive, collaborative co-parenting, this book is an essential resource for todays integrated families.

Reviews

This diplomatic guide offers advice on how parents can navigate caring for a blended family. Expounding on dating after divorce, Blackstone recommends parents only introduce children to partners theyre serious about because kids crave consistency. She tackles the many issues parents should consider when creating a blended household, suggesting that parents wait to move in with a new partners family until they find a home with enough space to accommodate each childs privacy needs, and that biological parents should set the rules for their kids while stepparents uphold them. Throughout, Blackstone entreats readers to approach everything, from establishing house rules to deflating tensions between an ex and new partner, by applying her CARE (communication, acceptance, respect, and empathy) framework, which entails listening to the concerns of all involved, taking each others backgrounds and history into consideration, respecting the opinions of others, and putting oneself in the other partys shoes. The discerning advice covers how to manage an extensive range of scenariosfrom splitting custody of children over holidays to resolving fights between stepsiblings and building relationships with stepchildrenwith kindness and grace. Blackstone packs this encyclopedic manual full of insight. * Publishers Weekly *
Nearly 30 years ago, coparenting counselor and child-custody mediator Blackstone coined the term bonus family as an alternative to the word stepfamily, which often has negative connotations. Hernew book guides readers through how to best blend families and coparent. She writes from experience; she is friends with her husbands former wife, and her child once asked (and wanted) their half-siblings mother to go on vacation with them. Her book shows that the keys to having a supportive, cohesive family unit (comprising previous and new relationships) relate to communication, acceptance, respect, and empathy, which she urges readers to remember as the acronym CARE. She offers tips for dating after a breakup, moving in together with a new partner and their children, collaborating with anex on raising kids, transforming mindsets, and more. Her book also addresses what to do when everyone comes together for weddings, commitment and religious ceremonies, and holidaysMothers Day and Fathers Day, for examplethat can lead to tricky situations. She also mentions many other challenges that may be introduced to the household. This definitive practical guide addresses nearly every situation that bonus families might experience. * Library Journal *
I am so thrilled that Jann has written another book for parents in bonusfamilies! Janns advice to parents is always practical and immediately actionable. In this book she teaches parents the enormous value of communication and respect, which are required in order to raise emotionally healthy children. This should be required reading for every parent that is part of a stepfamily. Thanks Jann! -- Susan Bartell, PsyD, child and family psychologist and author
Dr. Blackstone delivers an absolute must read for anyone looking to find the keys to co-parenting success and forming a blended, or better said, bonus family. -- Evan Schein, Esq., New York Family Law attorney and host of the Schein On podcast
As a family law attorney working with divorced or separated parents every day, I can't tell you how much a book like The Bonus Family Handbook is truly needed. Its the perfect guide for struggling co-parents and their families, tackling the real issues and offering a practical formula to successfully combine families in the future. Pure Gold! -- Lisa Thiessen, MS, JD, Attorney at Law, Family Law Specialist, State of California
Dr. Blackstone has created the ultimate guide on parenting in today's world of blended families. Her own parenting journey laying the groundwork. If you are frustrated, struggling or just need reassurance in your own journey, READ this book. It will take you from "step" to "bonus!" -- Sheila Ballin, JD, Director of Family Court Services, Family Law Facilitator (retired), Superior Court, State of California

Author Bio

Jann Blackstone, PsyD, coined the term bonus in lieu of step almost 30 years ago to describe the growing phenomenon of combined families. Since then, she has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show promoting the term and how to better improve relationships within blended or Bonus families. She has written numerous books chronicling her life experience as a co-parent, including Ex-etiquette for Parents, Ex-etiquette for Holidays and Special Occasions, and Co-parenting through Separation and Divorce. Currently in private practice as a child custody mediator and co-parenting counselor, Dr. Blackstone also runs a weekly column, Ex-etiquette: Good Behavior after Divorce or Separation, syndicated by Tribune Content since 2004. Today, it runs in hundreds of newspapers and websites all over the world. She resides in Phoenix, AZ.