Do As I Say, Not Who I Did: Honest Advice on Hookups and Relationships in College

(Paperback)

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Do As I Say, Not Who I Did is a straightforward, unflinchingly honest, and research-backed sex and dating advice guide from sex and relationships journalist Ali Drucker, backed by experts in the field of sexuality. It helps women ages 17+ develop healthy sex lives as they prepare for and navigate the most exciting-and often the most confusing-years of their lives: college. Do As I Say tells the stories of countless young women from colleges all over the country, while also heavily drawing from the sex and dating mistakes that Ali herself made in college. This book emerged out of a simple question: What would Ali have done differently in those four years, if she had known better Now, armed with the answers, Ali prepares college-aged women for the challenges they face in 2021. Mixing candid memoir with current research and theory, Do As I Say is the sex ed book teens and twentysomethings will actually want to read.



Do As I Say tackles topics of the utmost concern to college-aged women, from consent to orgasms to long-term romantic relationships. Each chapter is rooted in a moment from Ali's college career or young adult life and expands out to include stories from a diverse set of college students and recent graduates from across the country. In four parts, this book addresses 1) the basics of bodies and sex, including consent and STIs; 2) fighting peer pressure and establishing your sexual identity; 3) sexual and emotional health; and 4) the gray areas and how to pursue healthy relationships. Each chapter offers actionable advice drawn from expert sources including prominent sex therapists, professors of human sexuality, psychologists, OBGYNs, and more.





In an age with a constant stream of information available at the touch of a smartphone button, it's fair to wonder, Can't I Google this And sure, you can try, but what you'll find on the internet isn't always judgment free or rigorously researched. Do As I Say puts that problem to bed, delivering a cohesive manual tailor-made to the specific sex quandaries young women face in those crucial years when they're first becoming independent.

Reviews

"Even if you're long out of college, some of the relationship lessons in Drucker's book are still good tactics to practice in your late 20s, 30s, and even 40s. No matter what stage of life you're in, there's always room for dating improvement."--Bustle
"Do As I Say, Not Who I Did is not subtle, delicate, or laced in metaphor -and it's exactly the sex education college students need. . . It's compelling, funny, and unflinchingly educational while delivering a stream of unconditional compassion for the reader. While navigating the treacherous waters of mental and sexual health in college, there are few things young women need more than to hear someone say, 'you are entitled to 100 percent of your intimate desires and beholden to no one else's.'"--Daily Campus

"Drucker combines anecdotes with expert opinions to give readers answers to questions that often go unasked."-Technician

Author Bio

Ali Drucker has been writing about sexual health and relationships since 2014, when her first byline appeared in The New York Times. Drucker was senior sex relationships editor for Maxim and then held the same role at Cosmo. She continues to write about issues ranging from the representation of sex in the media to mental health for publications including HuffPost, New York Magazine, and more. Drucker has served as an expert consultant for companies including USA Today and Bumble, and she's been a guest speaker at creative writing courses at The New School and The Wing, instructing others on how to channel their relationships and experiences into impactful personal essays editors will want to buy. Although she didn't "write the book" on sex, Drucker did edit the encyclopedia of sex; Cosmo's Sexopedia is a massive online database of sex terms, all with shame-free definitions, pop culture examples, and helpful illustrations. For her work on the project, Drucker was named a finalist for a Hearst Editorial Excellence Award in 2017. Drucker currently lives in Los Angeles with her fiance, comedy writer Jesse McLaren.