Fragile Power: Why Having Everything Is Never Enough; Lessons from Treating the Wealthy and Famous

(Paperback)

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A revealing exploration of people whose wealth, fame, beauty, and social status grant them immense power. Celebrity culture drives us to aspire to be like the few who seem to have figured out how to have it all. But is it possible that they simultaneously have everything and nothing at all

Having treated some of the worlds most successful people, psychotherapist Dr. Paul sets out to answer why so many people who have everything end up feeling like their achievements are never enoughas well as what that pattern can reveal about ourselves and the society in which we live.

The exclusivity of living behind the velvet rope or the gilded gate doesnt guarantee happiness for the rich, famous, and powerful; there are downsides to attainment as well. We allincluding people who seem protected by their privileged livescan experience the self-destructive behaviors common to modern life, including chronic stress, addiction, anxiety, imposter syndrome, infidelity, negative body image, and narcissism.

Division marks our era. Theres a growing separation between the haves and have nots, men and women, as well as the empowered and the disenfranchised. At the same time, our culture is defined by celebrities, and the powerful, affluent people we put on a pedestal to idolize and emulate. Too often, we think our lives would be better if we could have what they have or be more like them. Its time to realize that even the most admired people can go through life feeling unloved and unable to escape their problems.

From the therapists chair, we learn how feelings of shame, insecurity, abandonment, and emotional pain are all part of the human condition. With empathy, we can overcome our sense of isolation by realizing that we all craveand deserveunderstanding, intimacy, and real connection.

Reviews

"One of the reasons we read is to empathize. To understand the lives of others. To value experiences not our own. In doing so, quite often we learn about ourselves. Dr. Paul Hokemeyers Fragile Power is an illuminating, compassionate study of the mental and emotional issues hiding beneath the veneer of success. His subjects are among the superelite, but his wisdom and insight are relevant to anyone who struggles with identity, shame, and self-worth. An intimate, highly readable book filled with Dr. Pauls generosity of spirit and grace." -- David Ebershoff, New York Times best-selling author of The Danish Girl and The 19th Wife
"Freud believed that at a certain pointmiddle ageits impossible to correct a personality disorder. In Fragile Power, Dr. Paul Hokemeyer proves that even the great Sigmund made mistakes. Its never too late to change, and Hokemeyer explains how to start." -- Gerald Clarke, New York Times best-selling author of Capote and Get Happy
"Fragile Power is a fascinating look into the psychological world of the rich and famous. The incredibly wise Dr. Hokemeyer uses examples that explore topics such as ambition, vanity, sex, and beauty. His examples and techniques are both wildly entertaining and remarkably informative, and allow the reader to empathize with this elite group of curious." -- David Burtka, chef, caterer, and actor; author and host of an award-winning Food Network specialboth titled Life Is a Party
"Its easy to forget, when youre in therapy, that the living, breathing human being sitting across from you is experiencing their own range of emotions. In Fragile Power, Dr. Paul Hokemeyer brings that living, breathing human being to life. . . beautifully. A psychological examination that somehow manages to also be a page-turner, Fragile Power reveals the insecurities that the person on the other side of the couch is experiencing while also bringing empathy and understanding to a segment of the population that tends not to receive any. If any book can show you how skewed our societal values are, this is it." -- Anna David, New York Times best-selling author of Party Girl
"Dr. Paul reminds us that happiness is an inside jobeven for billionaires. This smart and timely book reveals the cultural and economic issues that divide us. Polarization leads us to believe that if we can get past the velvet rope and achieve social identity through wealth and power, it will heal us. Dr. Pauls core idea is that social cohesion follows from self-awareness, empathy, and connection. No ones power can buy their way out of that hard work. Important commentary for all." -- Richard Socarides, human rights advocate, communications strategist, attorney, Clinton White House advisor, CNN political commentator, and writer for The New Yorker
"Paul Hokemeyer pulls the curtain back, exposing the internal battles of upscale and privileged individuals in our culture. Fragile Power is filled with anecdotal examples where he lays bare the unique types of loneliness, despair, and fragility within the addictive climate of celebrity, while exploring the challenges these people face in seeking help and counsel. Hokemeyer reveals the pain behind lavish lifestyles and seemingly enviable situations. A must-read." -- Susan Weitzman, PhD, LCSW, author of Not to People Like Us
"Fragile Power is an important contribution to our understanding of the human being who embodies the paradox of power and powerlessness, of control and vulnerability, of worth and worthlessnessand how when untreated and unresolved, can destroy a life." -- Kathleen OHara, MA, LPC, psychotherapist and the author of A Grief Like No Other
"I adore this book! Dr. Paul delicately takes the reader on an explorative journey on every page of Fragile Power. Offering an authentic blend of Pauls own personal journey . . . with resources and teachings, each chapter weaves an experience with such insightful depth that, as a professional, I felt compelled to keep turning the page. It is a book I will come back to for years to come." -- Samantha H. Quinlan, influencer and cofounder of iCAAD.COM
"I highly recommend you pick up this book and read it! Thank you, Dr. Paul, for giving us a peek into your magic world of fragile powera world so few understand. This is a must-read for anyone in the recovery field, and the way its written is exactly who Paul is: funny, witty, and compassionate!" -- Janique Svedberg, author, recovery coach, and interventionist
"Wealth. Power. Melancholia With empathy and insight, Dr. Hokemeyer examines the worlds of successful peoplethose we admire and emulateonly to find deeply troubled souls at their core. This book provides essential insight into the challenges that face those who, on the surface, embody the perfect human being. Truly a must-read." -- Johnny Lops, DO, psychiatrist and author of Reinvent Yourself
"For decades, our culture has been pretending that the upper echelon in the world is too wealthy or powerful to succumb to illness or disease. Dr. Hokemeyer brilliantly addresses this misconception in Fragile Power by sharing his clinical prowess and expertise and presenting successful strategies for behavioral health clinicians worldwide to absorb." -- Denise Bertin-Epp, RN, MSA, international health care consultant and recovery center CEO

Author Bio

Dr. Paul L. Hokemeyer is a renowned clinical and consulting psychotherapist who works with individuals and families around the world; he has specialized in treating ultra-high net worth individuals and celebrities. A member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists, hes a licensed marriage and family therapist and was certified as a clinical trauma professional. In addition to holding a PhD in psychology, Dr. Paul holds a doctorate in law. He has appeared on CNN, Al Jazeera, Good Morning America, FOX News, and the Today Show; he has been quoted by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, U.S. News & World Report, MarketWatch, WebMD, Daily Mail, Mens Health International, Prevention, Womens Day, Yahoo, and others.