Your Coping Skills Aren't Working: Move Beyond the Outdated, Ineffective Habits That Once Worked but Now Hold You Back

(Paperback)

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It's time to move beyond the self-destructive coping "skills" that hold you back!

The coping styles we develop in childhood are often the result of stressful or traumatic experiences. And while they once worked to keep us feeling safe, they do not serve us well in adulthood. This breakthrough guide offers an innovative and evidence-based approach grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), schema therapy, and attachment theory to help you break free from the coping habits that keep you stuck in a cycle of self-sabotaging negative thoughts and behaviors.

In this eye-opening book, you'll identify the maladaptive coping patterns you developed in childhood, understand why you developed them, and learn how to change those destructive habits standing between you and a happier life. You'll also discover powerful strategies to help you give voice to your unmet needs; and learn to cultivate clarity, security, and confidence in yourself and what you need.

Dysfunctional coping styles are often the relics of damaging childhood experiences. But your past doesn't need to dictate your future. With this guide, you can finally get unstuck from the habits that hinder your personal growth, get in the way of healthy relationships, and keep you from reaching your highest potential.

Reviews

"Adults often ignore the child within; yet learning to embrace this part can create profound insight and happiness. Developing a positive connection between our adult self and the younger version is the healing intention of this wonderful book. Powerful therapeutic strategies are woven into a compelling, user-friendly format for personal growth. This book resonated deeply with my inner child--let it do the same for yours."
--Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW, advanced certified schema therapist, supervisor, trainer, and director at California Schema Therapy Training Program; and author of Ghost Mothers--Kathryn Rudlin, LCSW
"Ever wondered why we repeat the same coping patterns, even when they prevent us from reaching our potential Even with great commitment and self-determination, we often find ourselves stuck in entrenched and habitual ways of managing our lives. In this book, your inner life will be revealed through powerful techniques that uproot old self-sabotaging coping patterns, paving the way for self-insight and healthier ways of coping. Written by one of the luminaries of the schema therapy field. Read and be inspired."
--Susan Simpson, ClinPsyD, director of Schema Therapy Scotland, and coauthor/editor of Schema Therapy for Eating Disorders--Susan Simpson, ClinPsyD
"I cannot recommend Your Coping Skills Aren't Working highly enough. Richard Brouilette has written a smart and accessible book on how to change unhealthy patterns related to interpersonal conflicts and other life challenges that is psychologically sophisticated while still being clear, concise, and user-friendly. It reads like having a friend next to you guiding you through a process toward healthier ways of being."
--Jeff Conway, MS, LCSW, president of the ISST, and founding member of the ISST and The NY Center for Emotion Focused Therapy--Jeff Conway, MS, LCSW
"In 1994, Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko's book, Reinventing Your Life, was a pathbreaking and profound handbook on how schemas intrude on and distort our daily lives. Now, Richard Brouillette offers an exciting successor, a timely update mirroring new development, including mindfulness, as well as an energizing journaling. Richard helps you move from feeling like a bystander to becoming the director in the 'theater of your life.' This is a brilliant and extremely practical book!"
--Eckhard Roediger, MD, director of the Frankfurt Schema Therapy Institute, past president of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST), and coauthor of Contextual Schema Therapy--Eckhard Roediger, MD
"Richard Brouillette has written an innovative, dialogue-centered book on schema therapy. Emphasizing the core importance of our internal self-talk, he teaches us how to use chairwork, imagery rescripting, and writing as ways to compassionately engage with and effectively heal our inner pain and suffering. This book will be a gift not only for those seeking to change their lives, but also for clinicians looking for more profound methods of healing."
--Scott Kellogg, PhD, director of the Transformational Chairwork Psychotherapy Project, and author of Transformational Chairwork--Scott Kellogg, PhD
"This is a practical, easy-to-follow book that will assist readers to understand their unhelpful coping patterns and learn better ways of meeting their emotional needs. The examples provided are excellent and easy to implement on a day-to-day basis. I think this book will resonate with anyone who wants to improve their mental health and well-being. I highly recommend this book."
--Tena Davies, MaClin Psych, clinical psychologist, and advanced certified schema therapist--Tena Davies, MaClin Psych
"While the schema therapy library is rich with books for clinicians, there are few available for individuals struggling to understand the impact of schemas and modes in their daily lives. Richard Brouillette has created a wonderful meditative tool and workbook, perfect for those individuals on a path of self-discovery as well as those working in tandem with a therapist."
--Peregrine M. Kavros, PhD, MBA, MDiv, chair of the ISST Ethics & Conflict Resolution Committee, director of Schema Therapy Institute SouthEast, and advanced schema therapist supervisor/trainer--Peregrine M. Kavros, PhD, MBA, MDiv

Author Bio

Richard Brouillette, LCSW is a certified schema therapist working with entrepreneurs, creatives and activists who have plateaued and are trying to overcome anxiety, find fulfillment, and improve relationships. Richard has published in The New York Times, Salon and Psych Central. He is the Psychology Today Expert Opinion blogger of "Flipping Out: Changing Mindsets with Schema Therapy." He has a number of professional affiliations, and in 2020, Richard was elected Executive Board Secretary of the International Society for Schema Therapy.