Wake Up and Smell the Shit: Hilarious Travel Disasters, Monstrous Toilets, and a Demon Dildo

(Paperback)

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Stand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty.
We've all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we're ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Andersons left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gagas shoes and Madonnas special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars.
Adventure vicariously as:
Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident.
Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa.
Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographics Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala
Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce LeeGerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same.
Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putins Russia.
Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina.
And many more.

Reviews

"Some writers are famous for writing love poetry--Pablo Neruda, for instance. Others, like Scott Adams, have managed to pin to the page the preposterousness of corporate America. Rohinton Mistry is known for his poignant portraits of Mumbai. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle changed the face of detective novels by creating Sherlock Holmes. But no one can describe an unfamiliar bathroom quite like Kirsten Koza." -- Geeta Nadkarni, CBC Radio Canada International "Kirsten Koza is like Judy Blume on acid." -- Sandra Polifroni, CHRY Radio Toronto "Koza, who has a degree in theatre, knows how to tell a story." -- Uptown Magazine

Author Bio

Kirsten Koza is a humorist, journalist, adventurer, expedition organizer and the author of Lost in Moscow: A Brat In the USSR. She's a contributor to Travelers' Tales anthologies and her stories "Chasing Tornadoes" and "Mare's Milk, Mountain Bikes, Meteors & Mammaries; a Nipply Night in Nomad's Land" are in The Best Women's Travel Writing, volumes 8 and 9. Her misadventure "Easter Island: The Chilean with the Brazilian" is in Leave the Lipstick, Take the Iguana. As a journalist, she contributes to TheBlot Magazine and covers topics such as cannibalism, bullfighting, dildos, Putin, gluten, twisted travel, tropical diseases, gross food, and outrageous world politics. Her travel writing and photographs have been published in newspapers and magazines around the world including DreamScapes (a travel & lifestyle magazine in Canada), The Guardian (UK), Iquitos Times (Peru), Guatemala Times(Guatemala), Outpost (a hardcore travel magazine and Open Central Asia (a business and society magazine). Kirsten also leads writing, photography and eating expeditions and lives in Sutton, Ontario, Canada.