It's Not Me, It's You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.
By (Author) John Kim
By (author) Vanessa Bennett
HarperCollins Publishers Inc
HarperOne
6th March 2023
27th October 2022
United States
General
Non Fiction
Dating, relationships, living together and marriage: advice and issues
Assertiveness, motivation, self-esteem and positive mental attitude
306.7
Hardback
288
Width 140mm, Height 210mm, Spine 25mm
370g
Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.
Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships rightavoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they found themselves first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up wont fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last
It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which were still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves.Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce.But he didnt truly wake up until he was pushing 40.
In Its Not Me, Its You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.
The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. Its more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots dont grow from wishful thinkingthey grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.
Its Not Me, Its You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.
John Kim, LMFT blogs as The Angry Therapist. He practices complete authenticity and transparency with his many clients, frowned upon in the clinical world, and continues to look for new and unconventional ways to help people. He created the Catalyst Life Coaching Course, an online life coaching certification program, and recently John started a new platform called SHFT, an app that gives people support in their pocket when they need it and the chance to become a life coach themselves. John Kim lives in Los Angeles where he makes videos on his phone, CrossFits, and rides his motorcycle to coffee shops to do sessions.