Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change

(Paperback)

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In recent years, Olga Khazan had been spiraling toward an existential crisis. Though she treasured her loving, long-term relationship and her dream job, she often caught herself snatching dissatisfaction from the jaws of happiness. Her neurotic overachieving had always been a professional asset, but lately, Olga felt that her brittle disposition could shatter under the weight of just one more thing. She knew something had to give-but was it really possible to change her entire approach to life

In Me, But Better, Olga embarks on a year-long experiment to see if it's truly possible to change your personality, sample size: one. Scientifically, personality consists of five sliding-scale traits: extroversion (how sociable you are); conscientiousness (how self-disciplined and organized you are); agreeableness (how warm and empathetic you are); openness (how receptive you are to new ideas and activities); and neuroticism (how depressed or anxious you are). But research shows that you can alter these traits by consistently behaving in ways that align with the kind of person you'd like to be. And that, in turn, can make you happier, healthier, and more successful.

So, for one year, Olga decided to fake it until she made it. She reluctantly clicked "yes" on a bucket list of new experiences, from meditation to improv to sailing, that forced her to at least act happy, healthy, and well-adjusted, in the hope that she would actually become those things. With a skeptic's eye, Olga brings you on her personal journey through the science of personality, presenting evidence-backed techniques to change your mind for the better. Based on her viral article in The Atlantic, Me, But Better is a probing inquiry into what it means to live a fulfilling life, and how you can keep diving into change, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

Author Bio

Olga Khazan is a staff writer for The Atlantic and the author, previously, of Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World. She has also written for The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, Vox, and other publications. She is a two-time recipient of the International Reporting Project's Journalism Fellowship and winner of the 2017 National Headliner Award for Magazine Online Writing. She lives with her husband and son in Northern Virginia.