Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women's Changing Lives

(Paperback)

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Despite the huge advances women have made in recent decades, their ambitions are still undermined in subtle ways. Parents, teachers, bosses, and institutions all give less encouragement to women than men, and women still grow up believing that they must defer to men in order be seen as feminine. If their ambition does survive into adulthood, too often those ambitions must be downsized or abandoned to accommodate wifely duties of household chores and child care. As a result, women--unlike mencontinually have to re-shape their goals and expectations.

Yet expressing ambition, pursuing it, and getting recognition for ones accomplishments is critical to identity and happiness. In this groundbreaking work, Anna Fels draws on extensive research and years of her psychiatriac practice to offer an original and deeply useful examination of ambition in womens lives. In the process, she illuminates just what is necessary for women to articulate--and fulfill--their dreams.

Reviews

"Deeply engaging and terrifically readable. . . . Fels . . . digs into an impressive mound of data, from scientific research to movies, identifying prejudice and unconscious bias as she goes." O, The Oprah Magazine

"Why is that women who can talk about anything find it so hard to talk about ambition In this insightful study, Fels, a psychiatrist, argues that women fear--correctly--that seeking recognition will expose them to attacks on everything from their sexuality to their sanity" --The New Yorker

"For impassioned research and analysis, Anna Fels's book ranks with the great feminist classics of the 1970s." --Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickled and Dimed

"Bracing. . . . Fels's analysis of women's tortured relationship with ambition is nothing less than a reclamation" Elle

A brilliant, clear-eyed, and wonderfully readable discussion of the role of ambition in womens liveschock-full of valuable information and insightsa bookthat is notto be missed. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners: Patterns in Love and Marriage

For men, reveling in praise is as natural as breathing, and the confidence that approval produces becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to further triumphs. Women, however, too often stuff their badges away in a drawer and, in doing so, sabotage the support that would spur them to achieve more success. Thus they cheat themselves in yet one more economy: the marketplace of accolades. Fels deserves credit for illuminating this dance of denial. BusinessWeek

Remarkable . . . reframes the struggle for equality in a powerful way. Salon

Fresh and original and has the qualities of a novel. As I read it, I recognized myself and many other women in its pages. This book is not only important but true. Jamaica Kincaid, author of My Brother

Necessary Dreams makes a provocative case for female ambition. It works as a feminist treatise, a study of human motivation and a how-to manual for revamping the too-often demoralizing American workplace. Austin American-Statesman

Certain to trigger debate. . . . Timely, well-researched . . . practical and useful. Tucson Citizen

This thoughtful and thought-provoking book will help talented women everywhere cross the last frontierthe mental barrier that prevents them from admitting their full ambition and embracing their success openly. Perhaps then it will be possible to build the right support systems for work and family, instead of expecting women to shoulder the burdens alone. Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Harvard Business School and author of Men and Women of the Corporation

What distinguishes Felss book from other feminist laments is the case it makes for ambition as a basic human impulse. . . . Fels has done her research. Washington Post Book World

How wonderful to discover a book that is so important, so original, and so beautifully composed. . . . Felss judgment is measured, but the cumulative effect is devastating. Necessary Dreams is a moving meditation on contemporary women and the obstacles they face. Peter D. Kramer, author of Listening to Prozac

Career womenor anyone raising smart daughters to do big thingswill find a lot within [this books] pages to think about and discuss. Publishers Weekly

Fels shows that women, like men, have a drive to excel, and that for women, as for men, happiness is connected to achieving recognition for real accomplishments. Her suggestions are therapeutic gold, at once creative and realistic. Accessible, clear, conversational, this could just be the book that lets working women stop feeling guilty. Katha Pollitt, author of Antarctic Traveller

There is more good sense about women's lives in Anna Fels'sbook than in anything I've ever read. Phyllis Rose, author of Parallel Lives

Author Bio

Anna Fels is a practicing psychiatrist who has written for the New York Times Book Review, the Times Literary Supplement, The Nation, Self, and, most recently, the Science Times section of the New York Times. A member of the faculty of the Weill Medical College of Cornell University at New York Presbyterian Hospital, Fels lives with her husband and two children in New York City.