The Quiet Damage: QAnon and the Destruction of the American Family

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"The book shines. . . By delving into the ways people become susceptible to QAnon, Cook uncovers a deeper truth- Many of us go through life with a gaping hole caused by trauma, isolation or shame, and we find healthy and unhealthy ways to fill it."-The New York Times The riveting story of five families shattered by pernicious, pervasive conspiracy theories, and how we might set ourselves free from a crisis that could haunt American life for generations. The"gripping" (The Atlantic) story of five families shattered by pernicious, pervasive conspiracy theories, and how we might set ourselves free from a crisis that could haunt American life for generations. "Excellent . . . This is the intimate side of the cold civil war America has been stuck in for nearly a decade."-Michelle Goldberg, The New York Times "SHED MY DNA"- three excruciating words uttered by a QAnon-obsessed mother, once a highly respected lawyer, to her only son, once the closest person in her life. QAnon beliefs and adjacent conspiracy theories have had devastating political consequences as they've exploded in popularity. What's often overlooked is the lasting havoc they wreak on our society at its most basic and intimate level-the family. In The Quiet Damage, celebrated reporter Jesselyn Cook paints a harrowing portrait of the vulnerabilities that have left so many of us susceptible to outrageous falsehoods promising order, purpose, and control. Braided throughout are the stories of five American families- an elderly couple whose fifty-year romance takes a heartbreaking turn; millennial sisters of color who grew up in dire poverty-one to become a BLM activist, the other, a hardcore conspiracy theorist pulling her little boy down the rabbit hole with her; a Bay Area hippie-type and her business-executive fiance, who must decide whether to stay with her as she turns into a stranger before his eyes; evangelical parents whose simple life in a sleepy suburb spirals into delusion-fueled chaos; and a rural mother-son duo who, after carrying each other through unspeakable tragedy, stop speaking at all as ludicrous untruths shatter a bond long thought unbreakable. Charting the arc of each believer's path from their first intersection with conspiracy theories to the depths of their cultish conviction, to-in some cases-their rejection of disinformation and the mending of fractured relationships, Cook offers a rare, intimate look into the psychology of how and why ordinary people come to believe the unbelievable. Profound, brilliantly researched, and beautifully written, The Quiet Damage lays bare how we have been taken hostage by grifters peddling lies built on false hope-and how we might release our loved ones, and ourselves, from their grasp.

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Where the book shines is in creating empathy for a group of people frequently dismissed or misunderstood, and for their grieving and divided families . . . By delving into the ways people become susceptible to QAnon,Cook uncovers a deeper truth: Many of us go through life with a gaping hole caused by trauma, isolation or shame, and we find healthy and unhealthy ways to fill it. For people like Doris and Kendra, QAnons message, however insane it sounds (and is), makes them feel valued and valuable.The New York Times

Each istragic and heartbreakingin its own way.All feel highly pertinent to the political realities of the moment, where great masses of people share beliefs that are demonstrably untrue.The Bulwark

Cook illuminates vividly the experience of loving someone in crisisa crisis you cant fully understand and definitely didnt anticipateand the impossible question of how long to stand by them. . . . The stories are grippingnot just because QAnon is so bewilderingly strange but also because the idea of a person you love disappearing before your eyes is so terribleand perhaps for many readers,relatable. . . . [T]he book feels brieflyhopeful. With patience and empathy, it seems to suggest, you can reach someone who once felt very, very far away.The Atlantic

If you are wondering why so many people seem to be slipping into alternative and frightening realities,you have to read this brilliant book. Itscompassionate, wise, thoroughly reportedand terrifying.One of the defining books of our time.Johann Hari, New York Times bestselling author of Stolen Focus

Captivating from the very first page, The Quiet Damage floored me. With empathetic storytelling and an exquisite eye for detail, Jesselyn Cook ushers readers into the darkest corners of the internet to document how disinformation is dismantling family bonds and disintegrating the social fabric. Gracefully written and thoroughly researched, this book is essential for this era.Toluse Olorunnipa, Pulitzer Prizewinning coauthor of His Name Is George Floyd: One Mans Life and the Struggle for Racial Justice and White House Bureau Chief at The Washington Post

This book is brilliant, heartbreaking, and necessary reading. Through tender stories of families riven by social media, politics, and trauma . . . Cook offers an essential account of the context and human cost of conspiracy theory.Eliza Griswold, Pulitzer Prizewinning author of Amity and Prosperity: One Family and the Fracturing of America, poet, and contributing writer for The New Yorker

Author Bio

Jesselyn Cook is an award-winning investigative reporter and journalism lecturer who has written extensively about online conspiracy theories and their offline harms. Prior to covering the tech beat at NBC News, she was a senior reporter on HuffPost's national enterprise desk. She holds a master's degree in journalism and international relations from New York University and was selected as a 2025 Nieman Fellow at Harvard University.