Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel

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From a pioneering Black feminist and MacArthur Genius Fellow, an urgent and exhilarating memoir-manifesto-handbook about how to rein in the excesses of cancel culture so we can truly communicate and solve problems together.

In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother whod had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at Washington, DCs Rape Crisis Center when she got a letter from a man in prison saying he wanted to learn how to not be a rapist anymore. At first, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage. But instead, she made a different choice, a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards, a choice that set her on the path towards developing a philosophy that would come to guide her whole career: rather than calling people out, try to call even your unlikeliest allies in. Hold them accountablebut do so with love.

Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoirbecause the power of Loretta Rosss message comes from who she is and what shes lived through. Shes a Black woman whos deprogrammed white supremacists, a survivor whos taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people ininviting them into conversation instead of conflict by focusing on your shared values over a desire for punishmentis the more strategic choice if you want to make real change. And she shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room.

Courageous, awe-inspiring, and blisteringly authentic, Calling In is a practical new solution from one of our countrys most extraordinary change-makersone anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.

Reviews

Calling in is far more crucial to human survival than calling out, and Loretta Ross has written a personal and political book that proves it! There is no one whose experience I would trust more.
Gloria Steinem
This book is the ultimate antidote to cancel culture. Its a master class in constructive confrontation, and Loretta Ross is the ideal teacher. Drawing on her extensive experience talking people out of hate, she offers profound insights about how to get through to othersand maintain your own dignity along the way.Calling Inshould be required reading for every student, activist, and social media user.
Adam Grant, #1New York Timesbestselling author of Think Againand host of the podcast Re:Thinking
A survival guide for American progressives. If you are on the left and want to make lasting change in our world (and sleep better at night), please read this book. Loretta Ross doesn't just take the high road; she rappels her way up a sheer rock face to get there, owning her mistakes all along the way. Then she helps bring a series of rapists and former KKK members along with her. (Yes, really!)
AmandaRipley, New York Times bestselling author ofHigh Conflict
What a refreshing and necessary look at the problematic culture of cancelling, as opposed to the more promising culture of calling in. Loretta Ross has offered us an escape hatch here, with wisdom, experience, and integrity. We would all do well to follow her lead.
Abigail Disney, activist and philanthropist
"With humor and grace, Ross... offers advice on how to find harmony among those with diametrically opposing viewpoints."
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Author Bio

Loretta J. Ross is an activist, professor, and public intellectual. In her five decades in the human rights movement, shes deprogramed white supremacists, taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism, and organized the second-largest march on Washington (surpassed only by the 2017 Womens March). A cofounder of the National Center for Human Rights Education and the SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective, her many accolades and honors include a 2022 MacArthur Fellowship and a 2024 induction into the National Womens Hall of Fame. Today, Ross is an associate professor at Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts, and a partner with 14th Strategies Consultants, with which she runs Calling In training sessions at organizations around the country.