The Social Paradox: Autonomy, Connection, and Why We Need Both to Find Happiness

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From the author of The Social Leap comes this thought-provoking exploration into humans two core evolutionary needs, for connection and autonomy, how the modern world has thrown them out of whack, and how we can rebalance them to improve our lives.

Why do people who have so muchleading comfortable lives filled with unprecedented freedom, choice, and abundanceoften feel so unhappy and unfulfilled This phenomenon is a defining paradox of our time and one we endlessly seek to solve. In The Social Paradox, psychologist William von Hippel argues that we need to think about this problem in a new way. By changing our perspective, we might finally see the solution, bringing us greater happiness and more satisfying relationships.

The key is to understand the interplay between our two most basic psychological needsfor connection and autonomy. Evolution made us dependent on one another for survival, instilling in us a strong need to connect. It also made us seek autonomy, so our ancestors could distinguish themselves within their groups, improving their chances to procreate and gain status.

These two opposing needs are our most fundamental psychological drivers, and while our lives once ensured a happy balance between them, the opportunities of todays world have thrown it out of whack. As von Hippel explains, our modern world no longer demands connection but it provides endless opportunity for autonomy; this lopsidedness lies at the root of many of our most intractable problems. Recognizing this imbalance and working to counter it can drastically change how we make decisions, spend our time, and find happiness.

The Social Paradox invites us to examine the fundamental building blocks of life and societypolitics, religion, urban living, marriagein a brand-new way. Once we understand the evolutionary forces driving us, we can begin to see how to counteract the emptiness and loneliness of contemporary life.

Reviews

Forget gold toilets and private jets. The key to happiness may just lie in a cheeseburgeror a sandbox. Full of insight into human character, von Hippels book provides a stimulating program for measuring success without material yardsticks. Kirkus Reviews on The Social Leap The Social Leapis one of the best books I have read in years. Its examination of the evolutionary roots of modern human behavior is bothprofoundand revelatory. Seamlessly weaving captivating stories, rich science, and beautiful prose, von Hippel offers an unparalleled glimpse into the lives of our ancestors and, thereby, into our selves. Sonja Lyubomirsky,New York Timesbestselling author ofThe How of Happiness, on The Social Leap The Social Leapis a rollicking tour through humanitys evolutionary past, and William von Hippel is the consummate tour guide. With equal parts wisdom, humor, authority, and charm, von Hippel shows how our past explains the present and why our well-being rests on an understanding of how our minds evolved. Roy Baumeister,New York Timesbestselling author ofWillpower, on The Social Leap This book is for everybody.Everybody, that is, who has a shred of curiosity about how we came to become human. von Hippels panoramic view prompts us to ask ourselves: what do we wish to do with the miracle that we are now here Mahzarin R. Banaji, Richard Clarke Cabot Professor of Social Ethics, Department of Psychology, Harvard University, on The Social Leap Von Hippel (The Social Leap) explores humanitys desire for connection and autonomy, how these two poles are in conflict, and how to resolve the paradox inherent in a need for both. Offering new ways to balance the interplay, von Hippel explores the ramifications of these evolutionary drives. Library Journal

Author Bio

William von Hippel grew up in Alaska, got his B.A. at Yale and his PhD at the University of Michigan, and taught for a dozen years at Ohio State University before finding his way to Australia, where he was a professor of psychology at the University of Queensland. He has published more than 150 articles, chapters, and edited books, and his research has been featured in the New York Times, USA Today, The Economist, Le Monde, El Mundo, Der Spiegel, The Australian, and the BBC. He lives in Brisbane, Australia.