The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football: The NFL's Greatest Players, Plays, Scandals, and Screw-Ups (Plus Stuff We Totally Made Up)

(Hardback)

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Description

Celebrated sports commentator Dan Patrick and comedy writer Joel H. Cohen team up with some of Americas greatest* comedy writers to tell you everything and nothing about Americas sport!**

*greatest is actually just a bad type-o for mediocre

**No, not darts, we mean pro football. (book on professional darts coming never)

Did you know . . .

Tom Brady is a very good quarterback. (True, but only according to statistics and accomplishments.)

The formation of the NFL took place in an auto dealership. The founders started an institution and also were convinced to buy rust-proofing for it. (Half true.)

The Carolina Panthers originated as a book club but turned to football when they couldnt agree on which John Grisham novel to read. (Maybe true. Research isnt our thing.)

The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football is a love letter to Americas favorite game, full of highlights, history, great plays and players, scandals, Super Bowls, and a series of lies, idiotic theories, baseless conspiracies, a diet that may kill you and, of course, a poorly-written haiku. The book takes the credibility Dan Patrick has built up over a stellar broadcast career (ESPN, NBC Sports, something called Peacock) and risks it all with these falsehoods, half-truths, and even some quarter-truths.

This parade of inanity is co-written by Joel H. Cohen (3 Emmys, several cavities due to poor flossing) and includes contributions from certifiably hilarious people, such as:

Reviews

"""I love Dan Patrick. I love his hair. I love his laugh. Heck, I love his musk . . . and now, I love his writing. No one is better equipped to blend humor with weird fun facts about the NFL than Dan Patrick. I repeat, no one. AND IF YOU DISAGREE I WILL FIGHT YOU!!""
Will Ferrell

""If you're a football fan, you need to have this book. You can read about the historic, iconic moments, as well as the obscure who cares' moments. And it's done in a funny, enlightening way by one of my favorite people, Dan Patrick. It's the perfect gift.""
Tony Dungy, former NFL defensive back and head coach

""Talk about your perfect match: One of the greatest sports media interviewers and storytellers of all time has written a book about the NFL, the greatest narrative-generating machine in American sports history.""
Rich Eisen, sports broadcasting legend

""I never learned so much and at the same time absolutely nothing at all. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has empty shelf space that would look just a little bit better if it displayed a book carrying the name of one of America's broadcasting icons.""
Mike Florio, creator of ProFootballTalk

""Only Dan Patrick can tackle the NFL in this waywith his trademark irreverence, wit, and institutional knowledge of the gameto produce this most entertaining and fun book, a must read for DP fans past, present, and future.""
Andrea Kremer, Pro Football Hall of Fame journalist

""Dan Patrick is a mentor, leader, and friend.""
Rodney Harrison, two-time Super Bowl Champion"

Author Bio

Dan Patrick is a Hall-of-Fame sports broadcaster and host of The Dan Patrick Show (1M+ listeners, 371 affiliates), a veteran of ESPN, NBC Sports, and the three-time host of the Olympics.

Joel H. Cohen was born and raised in Calgary, Canada. In addition to writing several films, two books, and complaints to newspapers about inaccurate horoscopes, he's been a writer/producer on The Simpsons for the last 21 years. Joel has won three Emmy Awards, three Writers Guild Awards, and, one time, a glass donkey in a game of bingo.